We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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