His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
