I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
