some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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