That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
