i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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