Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
