lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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