so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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