Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize