it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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