i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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