their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
