Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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