Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
