Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
