Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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