is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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