What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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