Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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