this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
