every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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