i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
