haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
