yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
