you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
