At least make sure they are 18
Why
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
