I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
