two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
