I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
