I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
