speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i think i have two assholes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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