Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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