He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize