I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
