Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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