Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His nipple licking is glorious
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