Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
