There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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