she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
do herpes really smell.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
