Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
