shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
