some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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