We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
