Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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