He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
