I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
