wat bout pragnant strippers??
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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