i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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