Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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