Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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