I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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