I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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