wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
