I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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