Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
