If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize