I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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