so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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