its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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