the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
