Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
