if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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