Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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