so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me too!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
