What a fucking waste of an outfit
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
