so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
