We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
