I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
