I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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