honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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