Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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