im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
