i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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