There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
